This is not lunacy, this is just being sad

I don't know why but for the past few days I have been very depressed for no particular reason. Apparently a lot of things are bugging me out. The people at home were asking me earlier if there is something I would like to share to them, maybe because they have noticed my odd behavior lately. The good thing here is that I am aware of what's happening to me right now, so one cannot conclude that I am going insane. But what could really be the cause of my depression? I know this is not an anxiety attack, I'm sure of that. My hypotheses for the causes of this depression are; 1st, pre (since last week) and post depression of leaving the Assumption and the people who have been my confidant through the years. 2nd, I'm longing for a parental (specifically a mother's) care and love, and guidance in entering the college life. 3rd, the people here at home are very uncomfortable to be with that I cannot express my thoughts because of their judgmental attitude, also they keep on nagging me to do things I don't want. 4th, what I have been asking for, as a graduation gift, was not given to me. And 5th, maybe because I have been spoiled for the past years and I'm free to do the things I want and then suddenly *BAM* rules rules rules, curfews, do's and don't's, and everything else.

I have been VERY quiet at home (only at home), and the only time I go out of my room is whenever I need to use the toilet and fill my stomach with food. Well I always stay in my room but not to the extent that I just lie on my bed the whole day and just use my gadgets, I am not even holding a book to read, not even talking to the people here at home. I will try to divert my thoughts and fight the sorrows I feel. I don't want the depression to over power my being. But for now I need to hangout with my friends more often to forget my uncertain problem and to divert my thoughts. I know I can get this through. I have a mother who is very strong and can triumph over problems, therefore I was born to be just like her.

I feel melancholy leaving my Alma mater

It's not easy to leave the Assumption school,  the place I considered my home. For 11 years I have been home and now I'm about to fly. I'll be leaving the place where I met my best friend, where all the most memorable things happened. I'll be leaving the people who guided me throughout the years, the people who who made me laugh and made me cry, the people whom I ran to when problems at home were too hard to handle, and the people who molded me to be the person I am right now. 70% of good memories happened in this school, and it's hard for me to let go. I'm naive to what is going to happen to me when I get to college; new school, new environment, new society, new everything. If I only have the option to stay in Assumption *sad face*. Things will alter now that I will be out of my comfort zone. Another years of being alone, alone in a sense that no one knows you, nobody knows your story, and nobody will understand you. The moment I step out of the 4 walls of Assumption, things will never be the same. The new chapter begins....

A poem for you, Mother

Loving you endlessly
-Kristah Perez

You had a brave heart and a brave soul
You were always there to make us whole
The power of your love changed our lives
With the kindness of your heart we become alive

For us you were not just a simple as a mother
But you were a leader, a confidant, and a soldier
You were always there when we needed you
Your love's so true we can no longer be blue

Mama, I know you're just here
And you would never want us to shed a tear
But we love you so much and so we cry
Because you're our hero and it's hard to say goodbye

Now you are stepping towards heaven's way
We promise to live for you day by day
Thoughts of you would be worth remembering
When sadness arrive we will still continue fighting

Thank you for the love, thank you for the care
Thank you for the happiness you've shared
Thank you for the joys, thank you for the sorrows
Thank you for leaving us your strength to fight for tomorrows

Now that you're gone we promise to be strong
Cause in our hearts is where you belong
And know that wherever you maybe
we will still love you endlessly