You made a lot of sacrifices, you have done so many things to show to us and make us feel loved. I am sorry if I ignored them, I am sorry if I haven't shown any appreciation for all your efforts, I am sorry I haven't made you feel loved, I hope you have known that you are loved by your daughters, ma. I hope even if we failed to make you feel so, you still know that we love you and we appreciate all your efforts. Now, it's too late. My sister and I have many regrets, and I guess we will be carrying these regrets all throughout, and this is our consequence. I am sorry, ma. I miss you and I love you so much.
After watching that one episode of On the Wings of Love, where Jigz doesn't appreciate all the efforts of his mom and ignore the love and care his mom shows him, a pang of anger hit me. It made me hate him as a character in the story, suddenly I realized, I am being a hypocrite, I hated Jigz for his treatment towards his mom, so what kind of anger and hatred do I have to myself? Everything's too late, I cannot undo my mistakes, I cannot take back the time where my mom was still alive. Now, all I can do is to cry and mentally and emotionally torture myself with regrets. I don't wanna dwell with "what if's" anymore, cause it makes me hate myself even more.
I know everything's too late, ma. I am sorry it took me quite long to have this kind of realization, and I am sorry I have to express what I really feel and tell you how much I appreciate all your efforts and sacrifices when it's too late. From the core of my heart, love and gratitude for everything that you have done for us, ma, I love you and I miss you so much. Rest in peace.
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