Happy Mother's Day, Momma!

Happy Mother's Day to the guardian Angel who favors me! Hi mama! How are you? I hope you are smiling up there, but I also wish I can see those beautiful smiles. I miss you so much, ma and it makes me sad not being with you on this special day. Scrolling through my facebook feed and looking at the instagram stories break my heart. I envy them, ma :( How I wish we can also have dinner together, as a complete family, and how I wish I can also post pictures of us together. Now I realize what I have lost, what I have taken for granted, and what chances have slipped away. We had 16 years together, yet we never celebrated the Mother's Day. I'm sorry, ma. I regret the times when I did not make you feel that you are the best mother anyone can ever have. But if I will be given the chance to go back to my day one (1), I don't know if I will grab it, because maybe I cannot bear the pain anymore. I don't wanna go back to the most painful moments of life, the time when I see you suffering (and stilll fighting) and the time when you finally said goodbye. I hope I made you happy, I hope I made you feel loved, and I hope you are now at peace. I miss you so much, Ma, and so much more each day. Happy Mother's Day! (sending hugs and kisses to heaven)